Show me the Loam®: Jackie and Mick.
Wor Jackie is some boy. I’d love to tell you about how I first met Jackie, over a cuppa in Skinny Mick’s bike repairs on Westgate Hill, Newcastle.
Sadly, the story of his pound coin ring, and the way he looked into my eyes for a whole five minutes will forever remain a mystery, much like Jackie himself.
As I learned more about Jackie, and how he was a multiple BMX national champ, the less I was surprised by things that should have surprised me. He even raced Nationals and a few 4X world cups, in case you weren’t aware.
Since then, Jackie, being one of Skinny Mick’s mates, has found himself being subjected to me telling him to put his money where his mouth is on numerous occasions. The good thing with Jackie is that, when we tell each other to fuck off, it’s usually done with toothy grins all round and both of us are pretty hard to offend. If you spent any time on “The Hill”, which I haven’t but somehow manage to survive ok, you’d develop a thick hide as well.
In BMX Jackie had a nick name – “Here comes Wor Jackie, faster than a Kawasaki!” and truth be told, even though it pains me to give him a compliment, Jackie can get a round a BMX track at frightening speed. By that I mean Liam Phillips, Kelvin Batey – Olympic fast.
Getting him to race the Naughty Northumbrian was a real coup. I mean, we once went to ride the Golfie but instead ended up riding Spooky Woods as Jackie just wanted to ride something with tiny jumps that was smooth. The Naughty couldn’t be more different really.
Still, two weeks out Jackie was convinced he was going to win the whole event. Post event, I learnt that Jackie was also humble in serious, quite terrible defeat. 40th place isn’t exactly the sharp end of racing, but he gave it a go, and made no excuses. That was refreshing.
As we come to season end, and Purvis has escaped to Canada, we’ve had a team Bergamont Encore that is screaming to be ridden, so on occasion we’ve let the man who goes 12 rounds at Bensham Boxing club on a regular basis have a shot. To be honest, the best thing about this is listening to him and Mick rib each other all day.
While the current trend is to share the stoke through kind words, these two take an old school approach. It involves a shit-ton of sarcasm, trolling and one upmanship, and I fucking love it. The stoke is real, but tongues stay firmly out of arseholes. Let’s just say it’s proper Northern: You either get it, or you don’t.
Jackie is improving fast, but he still can’t touch Mick on the mountain bike. Granted it’s a different story on 20″ but we’re talking loam, roots and steeps here. You might have seen Jackie take a starring role in one of our crew road trips. At first I was worried that Louise’s (and the generally polite populous of the Highlands) brain might implode with the vocabulary that gets thrown around, but everyone loved Jackie. He went mad when he saw where I’d taken them, but I knew he’d crack the jumps with no problem. And he did.
Now he’s gone digging-mad to replicate his dream trail. And boy, he can dig.
While I’d say Jackie is definitely old school, he bugs the shit out of me every time we go somewhere and I have my camera in a very new school way. He’s desperate for “insta-likes”.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate any form of communication beyond Email and phone calls, yet he insists on sending the Descent-World Instagram account countless messages, just like the 500 twats from the Ivory Coast that resulted from when the account got hacked.
I have no idea why he think’s I’ll reply.
I nearly put Jackie into the same group as this over friendly bunch of Ivorians who keep seeking my non existent millions through exquisitely written messages. They obviously don’t work in the bike business or they’d know better than to think anyone has more than two cents to rub together.
But I did reply eventually.
I always do, mainly because I’ve never met a fucker as mad or funny as Jackie since I met Crazy Gus. And that’s saying something. The Jackie and Mick show has a certain 90’s, post watershed ring to it. Perhaps Oasis could write the theme tune, we could film it in 4:3 and get something going.
But maybe not; I like them just the way they are.
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